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Don't Let Hollywood Lie to You

Everyone Loves a Good Romantic Comedy

For over 75 years the romantic-comedy has been a successful formula for movies. Everyone seems to have a favorite one. Some couples watch so many of them that men make jokes about longing to see something explode or some kind of action film once in a while, after their wives constantly choose yet another rom-com.

A good romantic comedy can be a fun night of entertainment for a couple, but it is worth remembering that every movie is someone's sermon. From dialogue to character choices to even product placement, movies send messages. If you've watched any modern rom-coms you've probably seen the blatant placement of LGBTQ characters, always in a positive light. Messages about sex often have questionable morality. And while faith is a big part of American life, good luck seeing it portrayed in a positive or meaningful manner. We cannot turn off our discernment when a movie is turned on.

The following article warns of the dangers of some rom-coms.

Hollywood Lied to Us: Why Romance Movies Set Us Up for Heartbreak

As a teenager, I lived for the kind of movies where two strangers lock eyes in a bookstore, knock each other over (along with a pile of books), and fall madly in love. Cue a whirlwind romance, a string of dramatic breakups, hot makeup sex, and a final fairytale wedding just before the end credits roll.

The message was always clear: love is chaotic, but it always ends with a kiss and a ring.

Except… it doesn’t.

These stories taught us that fights and breakups are normal, even romantic. That sex outside of marriage is the true test of love. That toxicity can be forgiven if the person “comes back” in the end. And that the goal is always a wedding, no matter what comes after.

As an adult, and now as a married woman, I can confidently say: these movies messed us up.

Let’s talk about it.

Normalizing Toxic Relationships

One breakup is hard enough. But when a couple in a movie breaks up five times and still ends up together, we’re told it’s a sign of deep love. In reality? Multiple breakups are a red flag. That’s emotional instability, not passion.

And the worst part? We keep rooting for them.

Sex As a Love Test

Movies rarely show dating couples who practice abstinence. Instead, we’re shown passionate nights as proof of real love. What they don’t tell us is that sex before marriage often clouds judgment. When you’re emotionally and physically entangled, you overlook deal-breakers.

I recommend abstinence, not just for religious reasons, but for your peace of mind. Clear eyes make wise choices. (Proverbs 4:23: “Guard your heart with all diligence, for out of it flows the issues of life.”)

Romanticizing Abuse

Verbal abuse, gaslighting, even physical violence, all masked as “passion” or “intensity.” When did emotional torment become part of the love story?

If someone constantly hurts you and calls it love, it’s abuse, not romance.

So What Should We Watch Instead?

Watch the stories that start after the wedding. The ones that show real marriages, the late-night arguments, the parenting struggles, the compromises, the growth. The movies where love is built, not just felt.

Watch stories where couples go to therapy and where forgiveness is a process.

Let’s Stop Selling Young People Magical Thinking

Many young adults today are disillusioned by marriage. Can you blame them?

We’ve romanticized dysfunction and repackaged it as “meant to be.” We’ve handed them a fairytale and told them to survive in real life with it. Then we wonder why the average global divorce rate is climbing.

Even Apostle Paul said, “It is good for a man not to marry” (1 Corinthians 7:1), and Jesus said some people may choose not to marry for the sake of the Kingdom of God (Matthew 19:12). So, no, marriage isn’t mandatory.

Marriage Is Beautiful, But It’s Not a Movie

Real love isn’t built on chaos and chemistry alone. It requires maturity, intentionality, emotional discipline, and spiritual alignment. It requires understanding that love is not a feeling you fall into. It’s a decision you make.

So maybe, just maybe, it’s time we started treating love like the grown-up thing it is.

And stopped letting movies raise our expectations.

By: Modupe Grace Ayobami, July 7, 2025

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